Your ENFJ self-care guide for a busy work week.
This week has been rough. I don't think this is unique to me- we've all been there. Work gets busy, and you can't seem to catch a break. As a business owner, having a busy work week is usually wonderful; it means I am finally reaching my goals. However, this means the actual "business" end of things tends to get neglected (filing taxes, quickly responding to client communication, paying bills, etc.). Oh, and did I mention the flat tire, multiple toddler meltdowns and the parking ticket? Hence, the late blog post.
That being said, I thought it would be appropriate to write about what keeps the anxiety at bay for a good ol' ENFJ like myself. (If you're not familiar with Myers Briggs, you can read more about it here.)
I don't know that all ENFJ's experience life the exact way I do, but it seems that the "NFJ" combination can be a real recipe for anxiety. My iNtuition constantly alerts me to clients, co-workers, and friends that are feeling neglected when I get too busy. I can feel when people aren't happy, and that tends to happen more when I don't have the extra time to be responsive to people. The Feeling function has me all emotional about everyone that is unhappy, and I sometimes overreact about simple, avoidable situations. Also, it makes me cry a lot. And of course, my Judgement function is responsible for the borderline OCD and control issues that are the root of my anxiety. I can see everything that needs to be done, and I want to do it perfectly- but I can't.
Sometimes, there really aren't enough hours in a day. More importantly, fellow ENFJ's, I have found that I function better when I choose to give myself a break during some of those hours and just let some shit go.
Here are some of the things I do to manage stressful weeks:
Write it down.
When there seems to be too much to get done, I like to write down everything and organize my thoughts. I am a checklist junkie. I use Asana to keep all of my tasks organized and set due dates to relieve the stress of forgetting something important. Also, if you haven't tried Asana, get ready to have your world rocked, my fellow organization addicts. It really satisfies my J function.
Talk to someone.
As Extroverts, we do so much better when we process through our stress with other people. Sometimes, you just need to talk to anyone who will listen because it's not about them- it's about you. You need to hear things out loud, and you kind of just need someone to tell you that you're not crazy. It also helps to express your feelings to those who you worry that you've been letting down; you usually find out that they're actually not that upset. So. Stop. Worrying.
Take long showers.
ENFJ's tend to be on the more introverted spectrum of the extroverts. While you still get your energy from being around people, you need that alone time to decompress and process. A shower is a great place to do this. Just make sure that you are redirecting your brain to positive thoughts instead of dwelling on your stress. Try to do a face mask or hair treatment while you're in there to have a little "treat yo'self" moment.
Don't neglect your routine.
This one is the hardest for me because, like most ENFJ's, we tend to put the needs of others before our own. The first thing to drop off my calendar is my morning workout, even though I know this sets me up to have a healthier mental state during the day. I worry that I won't have enough time to get everything done if I take the time to go to the gym, and I always regret it. In the end, you need to stick to it. Stick to your dietary preferences, your morning meditation, your workout routine, whatever it is. This also goes for making plans with people- you are allowed to say no. Try not to overbook yourself. You can't give people your best unless you have a healthy mindset.
Put down the phone.
To try to deal with my stress this week, I have spent my time before bed doing what I thought would relax me the most: online shopping on my phone. One of my students couldn't stop laughing when I explained that I didn't get a good night's sleep because I was having nightmares about buying the best set of packing cubes. Clearly, this was just giving me more stress and taking away restful sleep in the process. I thought that the warm light from my phone didn't mess with my sleep process, but activating my brain in a stressful way stole hours of needed shut-eye. I am learning that when it's time to go to sleep, I need to put down the phone and let my brain rest.
What self-care methods do you use during a stressful work week? Leave a comment!